amazingly that delicate combo of the rain, a best friend and the suburbs album by arcade fire nutured an environment for my epiphany. It was simple. It wasn't one of my huge ones where I give everything I have to the poor- or take in the sick and feed them- or any of those social responsibility types. It wasn't my typical- how to have to much fun and learn new hobbies like fly fishing. It wasn't my let's snowboard off my roof routine (happens every 1st snow storm) or my save water and sponsor a well in south africa idea.
My best friend said to me "you have a hard time being mean back even when someone is delibrately being mean to you." (I am not talking about wise cracks or things that are absolutely hilarious and teasing) no one has ever said that to me. When I get pushed to the limit I get mad- but it takes maybe 20 or so mean acts on the other persons side for me to even show an ounce of anger.... and I usually don't get angry until a week or so later once it hits me- I stay in the kindness zone- almost always. Unless of course my life is in danger- then it pops right off and most of you wouldn't even reconize me.
Last night I decided it was a high complimient that when people are mean to me and I don't react the same. I love that I don't treat people bad- that I treat others with kindness even when they are being gross. SO what was the epiphany? The moment of great or sudden revelation????
It is real. You can be kind in a world crawling with cowards and when hate is being thrown at you.
What else is real, last night I decided even though I am a little too sweet - and I know this- and so does everyone else who is in my inner circle- I will not be a doormat any longer or taken advantage of. When I awoke this morning- I put on my big girl panties- tied a ribbon on my finger to remind me-
and now for day two of skinny biatch.... let's go. life is short get right at it.
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