i am having a hard time dressing myself today, but hot damn my heart is exploding with a new hope. my pants fell down a couple times. i didNOT realize all this cycling would shred it like it has. i woke up this morning, and wowza... crack the shutters, snow patrol was and is the only descriptor on how i woke up. forgiveness will do this.
i woke up and felt, a solid 20 pounds lighter on the inside. i sprung out of bed with a sleepy face, made the coffee and negoitated with eli, on the hour it was and how he should arise and face the glory of the morning. i tried to convince him to take a jog, but it was before 7 am and i think he thought i had a nerve for attempting this. i stopped. i thought about all the places my heart went this week. i was somewhere between a vampire, audrey hepburn and a lost little puppy in the window on a snowy Christmas morning, homeless.
i have truly forgiven myself, my mom, the tobacco industry, not so much, but that may never pass.
if you have been following my blog you would know i slammed the daughter wall like a hot mess. in my morning time, today i read this and i will share it with you.
"Forgiveness means letting go of the past."
heck yeah, it does and it feels like a puppy in the window coming home for Christmas.
there is a running joke that i have with my mom. it's that she says this to me "daughters blame their moms for everything, it is always the mother's fault." i ALWAYS say "right, who else is their to blame?" and she belly laughs everytime. it's true.
oh, how good forgiveness is, how beautiful an action... how sweet is a forgiving heart.
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